Why Can't You Be More American

SITE MOVED! NOW at WHYCANTYOUBEMOREAMERICAN.COM!

2011-03-22T22:50:00.001-04:00

COME VISIT!

Eastern Cape Safari (and the gay South African city you don't know yet)

2010-01-15T09:40:00.000-05:00

Eastern Cape Safari (and the gay South African city you don't know yet)

Unbeatable Mombo Camp in Botswana

2010-01-15T09:37:00.001-05:00

Unbeatable Mombo Camp in Botswana

gay beach in maui

2010-01-15T09:37:00.000-05:00

gay beach in maui

W Atlanta Downtown Makes a Big Gay Splash

2010-01-15T09:36:00.000-05:00

W Atlanta Downtown Makes a Big Gay Splash

Elephant Obsession at Four Seasons Chiang Rai

2010-01-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

Elephant Obsession at Four Seasons Chiang Rai

the oldest city in germany... is gay!

2009-11-26T12:54:00.000-05:00

the oldest city in germany... is gay!

gay bar in the caribbean!

2009-10-29T00:25:00.000-04:00

Jimmy's gay bar in aruba

gay syria?

2009-10-29T00:24:00.000-04:00

is syria your next destination?

confessions of a travel writer, watch it beyotches

2009-08-07T18:26:00.000-04:00

yall i'm on a new show on Travel Channel called: confessions of a travel writer. i look fat. watch it. and spread the word. see info below

buenos aires, bitches!

2009-07-30T13:10:00.001-04:00

Watch Gay Video & Lesbian Movies

Sleepless in Santiago, Chile

2009-07-30T13:09:00.001-04:00

Sleepless in Santiago, Chile

Shared via AddThis

hot guy olympics Spain !

2009-07-20T16:45:00.004-04:00

unfortunately there were waaay too many guys that qualified for Hot Guy Olympics in Barcelona, Sitges, Madrid, Valencia and even Bilbao... so I'm presenting the gold medalists...

the dude in the middle likes to suck... in a breath of fresh air!

eh. he's a'ight but when he said he was a porn star for Titan, I let him give me ten bucks to include him in my hot guy olympics.

he may be fourteen but ... damn ! i now understand the whole teacher sleep with student sitch.
this guy just got back from three days at the beach.

this guy was at the same beach, only he didn't bring his Proactive. it's ok, though, you made it to round five!

yeah yeah, famous porn star on his knees, what's new.

oh, look, they let the maid come out for sunlight..!

shut the fug up.

dude on the left was my favorite. too bad he lost ...

to mr barcelona!

i'm surprised the dude in the middle didn't get a boner from the linda simpson/kathy griffin look alike.

marry me, please. .. he said. Eh, I was like.. maybe..

git it, bitch.

i hate it when people take pictures of me discreetly without my consent.

yee haw!

you can tell the dude on the left farted and his friend is laughing.

this guy would be perfect if his hands were in his pants and his pants were off.

i LOVE vikings.

you can fucking arrest me anytime officer. put me in a headlock, whatever...

i'll show you angel...

until next time!

toronto reunion

2009-06-17T14:33:00.006-04:00

so it's been 8 years since i've been back to my former stomping ground toronto (which you think dates me but because i was there when i was 18, that makes me 26 years old!).

of course, the first thing i had to do was see my TO BFF kris.

oh, wait, first, here's the skyline from my room at the park hyatt. have you noticed how much it's changed?

i also reunited with my friend jeremy, where we drank beers in this parking lot. just like old times!

tatijana is still the same beautiful person she was 8 years ago, and pretty strong considering she was effortlessly holding my drunk ass up.

hey look, it's anderson cooper! just kidding. that's adam.

this big black guy at the gay bar woody's is all like, "wait a minute.... wrong bar?"

my after party was pretty nutty, especially since cait grew her hair out , whatever that means (i'm on like 3 deadlines so none of these deks will make sense ish)

foxley ... the new restaurant opened by the chef of tempo, where i used to work, and he still only staffs gay guys!

kris is on, like 2 hours of sleep, thanks to the bag of heroin.

reunion.

of course, i had to go out and see the fake dinosaurs at the ROM...

and check out frank gehry's facelift to the oga.

look, andy warhol! i wasn't supposed to take this photo but i gave the security guard a handjob in the elevator.

tat's new baby!

kris hard at work. his paintings. www.krisknight.com

until next time ...

g-rated paris

2009-06-08T10:41:00.005-04:00

because i'm getting into all sorts of trubs with my blog, i thought i would go g-rated. how lovely and wonderful !

here i am in front of the eiffel tower! you won't ever see a local posing for the same shot!
not only was it the french open, some racing thing, and mother's day but there was an infestation of these oversized, plastic rabbits!

can you believe i had to eat one of these fuckers at a michelin rated restaurant?

this is where cecilia (style.com) had her phone stolen from her bag while april (elle mag) tried to cancel her blackberry... only two hours after we had arrived!

you could see the eiffel tower from any vantage point, really

but sometimes i wasn't really paying attention.

who doesn't love collette?

oh, so the main reason i was in paris... i was reporting on issey miyaki's new fragrance launch (august 2009) which is going to be wicked awesome... !

here's a sneak peek of the bottle. more to come

i spent some time at notre dame where tribute was paid to crew and passengers of the disappearing plane. very sad.

more sad was this american couple who were like "hey, what's that glass thing comin from the ground?"

checked out the new philippe starck-designed bon restaurant..

i'm sorry.. what??? vintage louis vuitton elevator at le dokhan??

while we're on the subject of designers, christian dior institute is one for the books

as is the glam plaza athenee (where carrie bradshaw stayed in the final episodes of sex in the city)

oh look! drunk journalists.

and who can't forget martin (middle) who showed me the caves of paris. good thing we found this hottie (right) who didn't speak a fucking word of english ! (or french , for that matter, as he was waaassted)

until next time from my hotel room!

plane crashes, guys who stare and $200 lobsters in St Barts

2009-05-26T21:49:00.006-04:00

for (un)memorial day, joshua and i decided to take a "weekender" to the glammy whammy french St Barts in the Caribbean. It's a crazy commercial flight over (from st maarten) where the puddle jumper (i like to think "private jet") literally takes a nosedive into the runway.

You absolutely have to rent a car. Joshua, who got his drivers licence like an hour ago, drove the whole time with the parking brake up, hit a few things, scratched up the car, started the windshield wipers when not necessary and didn't know how to put it in 4WD... and he's STILL a better driver than me

we stayed at the uberluxe Guanahani, in a 2-br oceanview suite. Joshua was obs happy about this.

Oh, did I mention our own private pool (with alarm, fugged up i know!)

we made friends with turtles and iguanas and, after eating them, we just swam a lot.

this was our shitty view. jk. it was off the chizaiin

our favorite beach was saline... nude optional!

hey! who's the dumbass who put out their cigarette on their sand-colored towel thinking it was sand?

speaking of idiot, this guy could get it.

did i mention nudity? oui oui, merci !

here's that flying guy and how i was supposed to put this picture before the "he's flying" picture but it's like 1:30 and i have to go to the gym soon.

oh shit here's that hot guy who caught me taking a picture of him. he totally wanted me though.

joshua and i went sailing one early morning and on our way back to the beach...

we saw this! a fucking plane crashed!

it's so LOST. . as in no one was hurt... for now.

this is st jean, where we did our sailing and shit and the water was like a warm bath.
un otro island shot.

guess which car joshua parallel parked?

this french guy was all like, "oui oui! I like zee outdoor sports!" Im like shut the fuck up and show me your huge dack (a dack is a handmade fishing rod )

until the next $200 lobster!

back to the santiago/ buenos aires future (or past) . . wait... ?

2009-05-06T22:05:00.004-04:00

last week, it was back to sunnny santiago (if you could see through the fog. cause the sky ain't white). statue one: "what the fuck?" statue two: "I know , right?"

i somehow ended up at this table full of white people eating asian food because that's what they like! ethnic food! it was actually delish on a dish.

the business guy in Lan airlines' business class on the left is like, "shit. i'm going to miss Drag Race."

i love santiagoaners. especially orlando (second to left) who was all like: "come to this after party with me" at like 5 am. i'll show you after party, bitch.

joe is sooo misshapes !

speaking of joe, thanks for the friendly bitch slap heard around the world (give or receive, you'll never know).

(give).

anyway, we did that whole get on the airplane and see what it's like when someone lights a cigarette thing or something. look! it's santiago in a plane! jk. I LOVE santiago. but orlando sucks.

oh, we totally saw this spanish woman sing at a tango show when we arrived in buenos aires. it was a total surprise, bitch could belt it.

this bitch about to bust.

nothing is as swank as philippe starck's faena hotel + universe.

not even axel hotel, the only gay-only hotel in south america. but it was totes awesome, with lots of glass and mirrors and glass. like glass wall showers glass.

until next time, take the stairs ! that makes absolutely no sense but i accidentally uploaded this photo and needed something catchy!

getting gay in st tropez

2009-05-02T20:15:00.004-04:00

not really. i was the only. what was not gay?

caves du roy. sorry tomkat, i got vip , beyotches.

cristal, beyotches.

my yacht, fools.

spoon by alain ducasse

far left, thanks.

my duplex with patio at byblos hotel.

this douchebaggy hot brit who really wore that scarf that way.

my beyotches.

and my hos to the left, hos to the right

hot guys in australia and new zealand !

2009-03-17T00:22:00.013-04:00

so my one-month jaunt in australia and new zealand with long-time pal, margaret (atlanta, represent!) brought us close to some dynamic cities, great attractions and, of course, those hot aussie bois!

margaret made me fly economy with her (ugh) but to make up for that shitty flight was this dynamic skyline in melbourne.

the street art in melbourne is ubiquitous, and one of the few cities in the world where it's embraced.

my favorite person in melbourne was the door guy, Tim.. what an aussie cutie!!
more street art, this wasn't planned to come after the previous photo but whatevs

i reunited with my parisian friend max, who moved out to australia to learn english. i mean, really? (by the by, he wants to move to new york in october. hook a brutha up with a job, fools!) i have major jetlag (and jetlag hair) in this photo, fashiz

we ended up meeting this Christian Australian. he was all like , I love god i love god, i was like blow me.

and stayed at some cool boutique hotels...

it's true! there is a beach in melbourne (aint as good as sydney but you make the best of what you've got, right?) this lifeguard should just pose all day, considering no one swims in that cold-ass water.

but people do walk around shirtless like hottie one and hottie two.

shopping was a blast cause i kept running into these hot dudes on the sidewalk who clearly busted me... like this hot fool

and this one...

we left melbourne on a good note to cruise new zealand for two weeks... at sea, there were some pretty awesome things like this volcano ejaculation (of lava and steam, yall)

i would have spent most of my time on this here deck....

but we had the beaches in taraganau for that, one of our first stops.

we also ate pretty well in Holland America's fine dining restaurant, where it turns out i was pretty "loud" (i am american after all yall)

margaret said this dude was like 15.. shit. with a body like that ... (our cruise ship in the back!)

h ha hahahahahaha hhhoooooot dude in new zealand.

hot irish guy in wellington (i'm just assuming he's irish... it's the lips)

scotty nylund, anyone?

who goes to australia without feeding kangaroos? this dirty ass kangaroo's mouth felt like a monkey butt fashiz

aww. and if you go to tasmania, you'll get all fuzzy over the endangered tasmanian devils...

nothing was as awesome as the hayman island resort in great barrier reef. somehow we managed to get upgraded to a lagoon suite. sweet!

some of the best scenery in australia really was from a boat.

like "frenchy" , for instance. the hot french dive instructor kid when we went out to the actual reef.

i mean... really? shit...

he was all like "jimmy i love you but you have to stop taking photos of me and just get in bed with me now. " I was like , "i can't do that my future husband because i can't let down my three blog readers."

we did go submarining...

and some glass-bottom-boating..

but the shizzle went off the wizzle palizzle in sydney australia. .

where the hotties just like to walk around shirtless.

well, at bondi beach, of course.

there were blonde hotties that REALLY needed that tan...

buff surfer hotties. .

posing hotties...

gay hotties...

buck-teeth hotties...

daddy hotties...

thug hotties..

skinny hotties...

and speedo hotties...!

none of which stayed at the lovely park hyatt hotel under the harbor bridge, but at least we had a view.. !

of the opera house right across the way!

we did hit mardi gras for a hot sec..

where this dude who wins hot guy olympics australia/new zealand really werked it with the sugar daddies
until next time!!

welcome to Chile

2009-02-03T19:08:00.007-05:00

so. ok. i'm back in chile. it's been three years, and for some reason i feel like i'm doing it right this time (last time? boozing it up all day at ritz carlton in santiago, getting in car accidents in puerto montt and believing patagonia was nicer in argentina). this time? well, here goes...

I finally witnessed the great attractions Chile offers .... like large wine glasses!

i reunited with charles (behind me), and got to hang out with other cool journalists.. andrew evans (national geographic), chantel (bon appetite) and shira lazark (tv personality more than a journalist but she was perfect for this show we are filming)

our 16th floor lounge at the grand hyatt santiago was off the chile-ain...

shira, charles and i went out for my birthday at this private, underground party in the hills. the shitty dj actually took my birthday request (arcade fire: rebellion). hey, at least he played a good song!

shira brought the l.a.

this dude on the right is crazy. once he found out we were journalists from the US, he wouldn't stop following us around. who really wants to be around some douchebag in a retarded shirt?

food was orgasmic.

we eventually ended up in valparaiso, one of the most stunning, visually inspiring cities i've been to in my life. big statement, i know, but no lie.

the ubiquitous street art was as thrilling as the views.

it's gritty and urban and poor and beautiful and heartbreaking and raw

oh, btw, shira obs totes had a great time at that party in santiago!

sorry there's no hot guy olympics, but there's hot street art !

pablo neruda . that bastard and his nice home

incredible views of the port can be had.

obviously a trip to chile isn't complete without a trip to a vineyard... a couple times.

nothing like the scent of penguin shit getting caught up in the wind, blown into your eyes!

oh , we played with sheep too.

but the penguins were the real shizzle.

all walking toward an apocalyptic sun (hey... punta arenas is the "end of the world" after all)

speaking of penguins, there are so many here in chile's southern tip!

i was fortunate enough to meet this famous artist who's name i already forgot. but his house was cool.

our days were long as shit (averaged 5 hours of sleep) so dinners were wicked short, no matter how gorgeous the view was.

speaking of views, this was my cabin in patagonia.

where the views are fucking b to the t everywhere you go.

see. no lie.

everywhere.

the ones who bring the world to you or something like that.
oh, this backdrop appears fake, but it's quite real !

dedicated camera crew

and rock climbing! done and done! see you soon!

hot guy olympics: Uruguay!

2009-01-22T12:14:00.006-05:00

are uruguayans hotter than argentines? you decide.

hot dads rule.

i was totally caught by these dumbasses who were like 50 feet away. the surfer dude on the left is totally rockin the 70s look and some yummer arms though

hola! como esta! let's fuck !

this guy totally practiced his beach walk before he came.

that little kid behind the hot stud on the right is totally farting.

those army cargos would look better off... or on his head like a chefs hat!

the bronze metal goes to this dumb american jock who somehow learned that punta del este was cool... but nobody told him what was uncool was his boardshorts. off, please.

this guy is totes cuddle material.

this guy is a date rapist, but a hot one.

speaking of cute boys who don't need to overcompensate with retard-ay goatees

i thought this guy was checking out the girl's ass but you can't see that big tub of lube to her right. no joke.

let's hope this guy's mullety hair doesn't get any mulleter.

look! it's ryan goseling's younger brother !

i know where you can put that antique key, bitch. . . in a door lock!

dude in the middle was off the chain hot ... and married. the girl on the left really thought i wanted her in the shot.

no lie: this guy was the housekeeper. talk about fantasy

as you noticed, i started giving up on sneaky shots and just flat out made this hottie pose for me. this dude totally wants to win a metal for hot guy olympics uruguay. hmm. ok, you come in second with a silver..

hung, horse, you get it.

the winner of hot guy olympics uruguay... marcelo! or whatever his name was. he can serve me drinks all fucking day. and i can write anything i want to about it cause he doesn't have a computer. "I like to be all natural," he said. whatever fool. then take off your clothes.

but the close calls were: doorman at sheraton montevideo, who actually looks a lot better when he's frowning (which he did 25/7)

this dude who clearly illustrates it's ok to walk around town shirtless. no big deal

my future husband marcelo

and uruguay's jamie oliver (far right)

Ur- a - gay (or uruguay)

2009-01-22T12:05:00.007-05:00

Uruguay is an underrated country with awesome attractions abound. It's also very European (there are no true native uruguans as it was settled by the portuguese who fought the spanish, more history stuff, but yeah, you get it)... From beachside resorts to cool farms (I know, right?), it's definitely positioned itself as one the emerging destinations for 2009. Not to mention the guys here are hotter than the guys in argentina (see the Hot Guy Olympics in the next post!)

I took the 45-minute ferry across the rio de la plata to land in colonia del sacramento, a UNESCO world heritage city (as of 1995). Just outside the "old city" was the resort town, catering to... you guessed it ! argentines. and this fat asian. who, 1 hour into checking in, already made myself feel at home.

the sunsets were quite unrivaled and the views pretty terrific from my window. You can't see, but there's Jason vorhees behind that tree.

karentina and i shacked it up in the spa pretty much 24-7 when we were at the property. here i'm imitating me imitating a british bodybuilder imitating me.

believe it or not, we went to visit the home/museum for the Guiness World Record guy who owns the most pens in the world. he also owns other stupid shit.

obs, the highlight was the old city itself, founded by the portuguese. the cobble stones were erratic, just the why i like it, and the city at night was pretty fucking magical.

oh, hey look! it's michael luongo... the guru on argentina (he wrote the frommers guide book). he played argentina hookey and came to uruguay with us, where this guy interviewed him for god knows what.

speaking of other "celebs", our host (sergio) was all about gettin in front of the camera with $10 sunglasses.

this one's for me straights. git it.

i have to admit, all the traveling and sightseeing gets us pooped (in transit to punta del este!)

but i was happily awake to meet mr carlos paez vilaro, who constructed the striking, inhabitable adoble sculpture in punta del este. unfortunately his dumb-ass assistant has no idea how to take a photo. hey moron! angle the fucking camera so the light is out of our faces, be-yotch!

this is his masterpiece.

speaking of aerial views, we took a helicopter ride to check out the scene. they made the mistake of hiring me as co-pilot.

punta.

of course, we didn't want to miss the inauguration so we had to get a laptop hook up. go obama!

jose ignacio is punta del este 50 years ago. no high rises, no cramped beaches and totally unspoiled (oh, and chockfull of hotties!)

i had the honor to meet one of uruguay's top artists, Pablo Atchugarry, at his studio/gallery. His art was pretty amazing. What else was pretty amazing?

his fucking hot SON...

who just decided to walk around shirtless all day.

during interviews and important tours. .

obviously his mom did not give a shit either.

speaking of old ladies, can you believe this bitch is a princess??? she was all like, "fuck that i aint getting my picture with this fool eatin all my food"

and the winner of hot beach olympics... la barra!

but a solid competitor is the whole coast of la rambla in Montevideo...

ignacio ALMOST made Hot Guy Olympics but he didn't take his shirt off when i requested.

oh, and these guys ALMOST made it too but they took me to a shitty restaurant.

speaking of threesomes, meet my new friends. !

who took me out to experience the nightlife, which i have to admit, wasn't that bad.

what else wasn't bad?... the Uruguayan wine. obs.

buenos aires: HOT GUY OLYMPICS part 2 !

2009-01-16T21:28:00.014-05:00

ahhh.. buenos aires....a city that americans can still travel to without putting a fucking hole in their wallet... where the guys are as hot as the day is long (and equally hot). Because I had a head cold the last time I came here with my friend mike, I had to do it all over again the right way!

Eva Peron + this dress = iconic... Sure Madonna put the "diva" in Eva (omg, I just made that up right now, no lie) but Eva is clevah.. you betteh believah (ok, i'll stop)

who knew argentines were so "arty" ? the modern museum was one for the books, especially because they had air conditioning.

big thank you to American Airlines, who was a sponsor. and there goes their rep, javier, who was always on his phone bitching about the high-maintenance journalists... (just kidding. he was only bitching about me)

oh look! it's the 4th oldest subway in the world!

if you don't watch the news like me, you would have missed this big-ass protest that broke out on the streets (and you know shit is going down when they cover their faces)

I'm not even going to get in the politics. but, hey, the real point here: I was part of a protest!

to escape the political chaos, we headed to Tigre, home of the biggest delta in the world and a hot tourist spot for south americans (that's right, folk! americans are too lazy for that 45 minute drive!) you can totes see buenos aires from here.

oh, btw: these are my bitches! Karentina (left bitch) and i go way back (dominican republic and india) and carly (right bitch) is my caribbean ho (puerto rico and barbados). we always try to organize our schedules so we can travel together.

speaking of crush of the day, this was our host, miguel, who's putting bunny ears on me. I know a better place he can put those fingers .... (in a bowling ball, of course!)

Tigre's museum was actually cool (transformed from the country's first casino), and it was pretty fun crashing this photo shoot.

boca.. where the original italians first immigrated... and home of tango, the argentine version of Tang.

speaking of things we should put in our mouths, it's all about beef here.

it's ok to be a little weird in Buenos Aires, like this 90 year old man decked out in army gear in the middle of the day for no reason.

or this weird fool who's butt still hurt from falling down that hill in nevis.

"butt" (get it?), all in all, buenos aires is a beautiful city with some rich culture that is bound to sweep YOU off your feet. O- lay ! (oh wait... that's wrong)

and now... i present HOT GUY OLYMPICS... ARGENTINE STYLE!

Of course, I had to start at the airport in AA business lounge... this dude is all like "I know you're taking a photo of me cause i'm so hot so i'm going to pretend like I don't have this boner from looking at you earlier"

if i formed a cup with my hands, i'd totally let this guy throw up in it.

thanks, Sheraton, for providing "i just got home or I'm just leaving" fantasies.

ah.. nicholas... marketing manager for argentina tourism... who knew they hired 17 year olds?

speaking of guys who should be walking around with no pants on...

this hot dude was on my catamaran cruise and this is the luckiest baby in the whole fucking world

hey dude, like, awesome bracelet!

i was totally busted but this mo totally didn't care...

speaking of guys who should be on Tool Academy, this dude is the WINNER of Hot Guy Olympics: Argentina.

he obs doesn't give a shit. security guard is like: "dude, i got my sunglasses at sears!"

these gays were so lost that they totally forgot how fucking retarded they looked by dressing the same.

i swear this guy is hot when he's not smiling.

Second place goes to: this hot waiter who stole my flip flop, inducing a quiet panic and confusion while I looked for it, then put it back under my chair 20 minutes later. who does that??? carly, who is probably NOT sleeping, will be sure to get an answer.

see you in uruguay (or as squirrel bell likes to say: "you're a gay!"

all-abusive Punta Cana getaway

2009-01-12T16:36:00.002-05:00

there really wasn't anything abusive except the hot hammering sun when I arrived in Punta Cana. Aside from really hot Russians (DR is, after all, a favorite for Eastern Europeans) uneducated white trash American tourists really love it down here! after all, I made the trek!

I came on assignment to review the new Reserve, the boutique resort within the Paradisus Palma Real Complex (part of the Sol Melia brand, which I LOVE)

I had a swim-up suite in my backyard, and my own private, low thatch-roof palapa from where I sat cross-legged and put war paint on my face (the kids loved this)

wow. i mean, "how"

I got a chance to test out the clarity of my new G10... I was aiming for that chair but this kid just happened to get in the way

twice.

I love europeans.

did you happen to catch the full moon on january 10? you should have. it caused a shitstorm (not as bad as mercury going into retrograde the next day!)

oh, look! it's mario lopez (ish)!

damn bitches. why yall gotta ruin my shot??

my friends were totally pissed it was snowing and 10 degrees at night in nyc.

who knew that punta cana would actually have a really cool "hipster"y bar?

that also had swings...

and a completely gorgeous nighttime setting

speaking of my new camera, did i mention the zoom?

this fucker tried to hide from my shot but i think he was just annoyed cause we had sex like zero times.

until next time!

megan, you drunk bitch , don't eff with sharon !

2009-01-12T11:34:00.001-05:00

MTV Shows

blair witch nevis

2009-01-07T12:18:00.006-05:00

there's actually nothing scary about Nevis, the completely unspoiled, unexploited island in the caribbean. well, maybe the scariest thing is that cursing is ILLEGAL. no joke (you can get summoned to court). what else is illegal? Making false rumors (don't ever accuse someone of having an abortion). despite taking the fun out of talking the way i talk, nevis is one of the coolest islands i've ever visited. all the accommodations are 200+ year old plantations transformed into luxury inns. my cottage had antiques from the 1700s. how cool is that? said tone loc

because i love you, i want you to see me sitting in a mineral rich pool. it was HOT, straight from the volcano.

Hey ! so Alexander Hamilton was actually NEVER a president like I thought he was (this is where he was born). But he was kinda hot and totally had napoleon complex, a total turn on.

I had the privilege of meeting Brice Marden, the iconic american minimalist painter. he was pretty cool, the kind of old man that still wears a snow hat and t-shirt, with a little bit of nose hair growing fast (my dad thinks its a sign of wealth, or wanting of wealth. i be rich alreads, keep it trimmed). anyway, brice totally turned the golden rock plantation inn into this awesome property, with stark red colors contrasting the caribbean decor.

oh, look! it's earla, my tour guide for nevis peak. she forgot to remind me that i'm a fucking retard sometimes... which could have prevented me from falling on my tailbone down the trail.

oh, before i get to the hospital, did i tell you that nevis is one of two islands that actually has monkeys? shitloads of them. locals hate them cause they pick at their gardens. tourists love them cause they're crazy ass monkeys! in the caribbean! who woulda thunk?

so when i fell on my ass, it really wasn't a crisis situation. my lower back/butt was injured so it hurt to touch. so i just stood a lot . then decided it was TIME to get my butt checked out.

this was the AWESOME waiting room i got to spend time in before a nurse put a shot on my butt (it actually did hurt). but hurt no more the next day.

because i was better, i had to find someone to stalk. it's only right. this british kid did juuust fine.

speaking of fine, and stalking...

until next time...

happy new year ! kick it off the right way ...

2008-12-31T15:00:00.002-05:00

watch out, america's funniest home videos...

2008-12-28T18:15:00.002-05:00

my cousins are crazy

south beyotches

2008-12-23T01:39:00.004-05:00

thank fucking god i got out of new york 2 hours before the snow storm. sorry bitches, but it's 80 degrees down here in miami !!

this guy is all like "i went to jamaica and all i got was this lousy t-shirt and some dumb-ass jamaicans beat me up because they thought i was gay." cause he looks it. too bad i never found out.

all mike and i did was crash the cabanas... key biscayne was cool cause it was in the middle of fucking nowhere

so all we did was eat these fucking delicious biscuit cookies.

we couldn't not leave without some crunk time in south beach. hey look! it's DJ Smeejay at Ritz Carlton! Remember him go go dancing at the cock back in 1986?

cabana crashers. oh, and it may look like i have back fat, but that's just the angle and the way the sun hit us that time of the day.

hey look! it's kevin, the original goodtimes dj ! he was in miami looking for good drugs like everyone else.

just kidding. the back fat is actual back fat cause this is all i fucking did every day. imagine that. until next time!

why i don't get any work done

2008-12-15T22:00:00.001-05:00

why 2009 is going to be GREAT

2008-12-11T20:27:00.001-05:00

mykonos baby

2008-12-05T16:40:00.002-05:00

oh, yall, i have a column with gaywired.com . here's the latest ! it's on mykonos

where you belong, this saturday

2008-11-19T12:18:00.002-05:00

crocodile hunter in riviera maya

2008-11-17T20:16:00.008-05:00

I can't say no to mexico (so, essentially, i can't say mexi-no!)... which brought me back to the riviera maya.

I spent most of my time reporting on the new Banyan Tree, a luxury resort due to open in February. It's in Mayakoba, which is relatively new. It's a truly amazing enclave of resorts that was completely underground with its own ecosystem. "Unroofed" ten years ago, it now comprises fresh water canals, tall mangroves, even crocodiles! I took a lancha (covered boat) to go look for some. Obviously, I'm no crocodile hunter, so instead we discovered these cenotes (underwater caves).

here is a sneak peek of the Banyan, right along the canal. Someone might kill me for posting this (I had an exclusive preview so it's not even complete or open to viewing for public) so absorb it while you can amigos before i'm forced to take this image down!

at one point, i got super bored from exhaustive touring so i took a lot of pictures like this.

and this. . .

and this...

luckily i was saved with a field trip to the ruins of Tulum.

Tulum still has the best beaches this side of the Yucatan.

Most of the journalists were from Denver, except 74-year-old Jim, who I went to Los Cabos with last year, and who is weird as an old man. Like, ran from the law when he was 26 weird.

love the euros. .

Our tour took us to Yal Ku, a completely white people-less area on the coast where fresh water meets salt water... there are cenotes here . . .

but not as cool as the ones in this park a few miles away. It brought to mind Turistas and Descent, although the only scary thing here was my gut.

the whole park was perfectly "jungle" like a hollywood set, though it was as real as these white canadians.

my resort, mandarin oriental, is fairly new (feb) and had some of the sickest rooms in the area.

but the beach at maroma stands unrivaled (ish to tulum)... travel channel has voted it one of the best beaches in the world, and I agree...

but whatever, i'm skinny now, and this is an aerial view of Fifth ave, the bustling main street in playa del carmen.

this is a hot dj who played shitty music.

and our hot server, andres, who I said buh-bye to after learning he just graduated high school

peter (behind us) got "i'm an ex-thespian" drunk.

this is the guy i wanted to get drunk.

and POSE !

Lost in Translation part 2

2008-11-11T08:24:00.006-05:00

It's always nice to have a private driver + Rolls Royce at your beck and call when you're so over the subway.

After all, there's nothing like arriving in style at the uberluxurious thrift store ! (don't worry, kids: this was just a treat. i can't even afford subway fare back home)

oh, cool buildings abound in the Daikanyama neighborhood (shout out 1: thanks joshua!), home of cool boutiques (like APC) and thrift stores that sell shit they bought in the states that you're just buying back from them.

i had lunch at the popular noodle place where you order your meal from a vending machine, pass the ticket under the curtain in your personal booth and eat some fucking delicious noodles.

like this shit was gooder than Cup O Noodles.

In the Shinjuku neighborhood (remember, from Lost in Translation?), a sea of people, and i mean a fucking mean sea of people, is a little overwhelming.

You basically had to swim (get it?) through the sea of... yea.. you get it...

these fucking vending machines were ridiculously ubiquitous... as were, strangely enough, asian people.

oh, shit. i forgot to tell you there's a tunnel running parallel to the elevators in my hotel with floating art. they let me hop in at some point to see if these weird-ass things multiply

This crazy image of Shinjuku is 100% accurate in reflecting the hood at night.

the Prada store for the gays.

H&M/commes de garcon opened up today, which was a big deal considering they had about 8 cops for pedestrian control (not to mention the exhaustive line-up to get in was as long as the qeue at eastern bloc on a wednesday night)

I played the tourist by visiting Park Hyatt (Lost in Translation), where it effortlessly harbored the best views of the city.

But I obviously didn't care much.

Until next time!! Hai! Hai ! Hai!!

something fishy in Tokyo

2008-11-09T18:58:00.000-05:00

i thought it would be nice to give the Peninsula hotel Tokyo a review (considering it opened less than a year ago with unfavorable timing (economy)) so i jetted over to the land of the rising sun (NOT forgetting my passport, thanks) to give it some editorial love...

The Peninsula hotel chain is one of the most fanciest schmaciest in the world (Peninsula Chicago is the top-rated US hotel).

My view of Ginza was off the chinkizzle.

not to mention my deluxe bathroom with like 40 control pads. talk about complicated royalty. at least the seat was heated, and the toilet lid came up automatically (sensor), with the seat lifting at the push of the button. There's also this button that has water squirting up your a-hole... "butt" let's not go there. .

oh, my other window had views of the imperial palace and preserved dirty moat !

of course the first thing i did was have a nice sushi meal !

it was either that or this....

ginza is the most recognized area in tokyo with a million shops and 24543 million people.

i was told a trip to tokyo wasn't complete without a visit to the Tsukiji Fish Market, the biggest "port" in the world. These 200-lb tunas don't stand a fucking chance.

hey, look! it's the notorious blow fish!

tuna heads as vendor stall furnishings are all the rage.

naturally, i hopped on the subway to experience a ratless (and white people-less) commute.

oh, wait, let's talk about the art. it's, like, le everywhere.

and pretty fucking cool

coolier

cooliest

here are the honky journalists who made me get on my knees at the Meiji temple.

speaking of getting on my knees...

what's fucked up in tokyo is that you can't smoke on the streets. how violating !!!

i ended up at harajuki to max out my credit cards (no lie)

i'll get you, tokyo!!!

to be continued...

go obama!

2008-11-09T18:56:00.003-05:00

celebratory motorcyles set on fire on my street!

miami beach wedding crashers

2008-11-07T10:02:00.004-05:00

so last weekend was my best bitch's wedding. i've known katie since that first pill of ecstacy in high school. she's (finger wag) fierce !

she got married on lincoln road at a small chapel. that's so Miami. (actually, i don't think it is but it sounded cool too say)

afterward, people on the street stopped to see the celebrity that escorted the newlyweds. Sorry, fans, that I did not have a pen for autographs.

margaret is my bitch #2 and it touches my heart to see that she's cut back substantially on drinking.

bitches and hot hos. and a little girl meditating behind us.

can you believe that katie's paid photographer was 7 years old?

Her new hubby angelo makes more money that me and my past 6 lives. fyi. jk. i have no idea how much he makes. jk. not really.

i asked for smiles and got girls gone wild.

speaking of guys i want to have sex with, here's what's his name, a personal trainer at david barton. swoon!

dragica knows how to ride that aiden train. rain won't stop the reception at the raleigh!

oh, i'm sorry.. but who picks the best ipod tunes?

later margaret and i met up with the gays at some gay ass gay club where this hot straight go go dancer and her... did stuff....

i got stuck with the ugly one. but he liked rubbin his woodchop on my thigh... i love weddings!

CSI, BVI, TMI, FYI.. acronyms are fun in Virgin Gorda!

2008-10-27T10:30:00.006-04:00

well, if you eventually get here. If you are like me and have bad travel luck (or just a double air sign), you'll most likely be stranded in Puerto Rico after forgetting your passport at home.

This is how I felt :(

But I guess it wasn't THAT bad.

After $200 on comfort food and a fedexed passport later, I finally made it to Virgin Gorda !

Biras Creek is a Relais & Chateaux property, completely removed from the other resorts, sprawled over 150 acres...it retains that "old school" caribbean beat (no lame-ass shit like bamboo (seriously? that's so not carib)) ... and they put me in a GRAND suite ($1,500 a night). I don't know why. why? I don't know. But this was my freestanding bathtub in a bathroom bigger than my apt with outdoor showers. how "eco chic"

oh and note my wrap around deck with private infiniti pool. Also note how dangerously close my cabin is to the shore ! old school indeed!

ah, the boys of summer. Jerzey (left) is the jack-0f-all-trades guy who works here, kendis (below right) is an anchor for Fox (ugh) and eddie was his bitch (video guy).

The Baths is one of those places listed as "1001 places to see before you die." i'm glad I did. otherwise and obviously i would die unhappy according to the book.

but seriously this shit was the shizzle off the cave dizzle. The Baths is a geological formation of large granite stones with a labyrinth of trails, pools, caves and such. It's really something else.

this is where you end up if you read the map right, goonies style.

seriously, eddie, really?

he's lucky he's cute (and a construction worker and part time fireman)!

jerzy is so OC meets Gossip Girls. I'll gossip his OC.

This was just a hot random aussie on the beach (staying at Richard branson's private island, $4800 per night!)
i got to drive some pretty butched-up go carts....

and maxed out the speed on my boston whaler.

while Eddie, who came out to snorkel with me, disappeared for a good 30 minutes. fucker. I'll still get you for giving me the panic attack and making me fuck up the whaler going over coral looking for your white ass, thinking you were dead. fucker !

denise, the fitness instructor, had me doing pilate, yogalates, pool-lates, kayakalates and other lates to offset the fatness i've become

because this was basically my trip (with food)

did i mention my private infiniti pool?

lake placid (or Why Can't You Be More Closer to the City)

2008-10-18T21:21:00.004-04:00

As I write this, I'm eating left-over lasagna and fried calamari from Via Del Mille. This has nothing to do with my trip to Lake Placid last week for Columbus Day weekend. I had my impressions of "upstate." Clearly, I was so wrong !

The train ride goes through some amazing landscapes that you don't get driving a car. Thank god I woke up 5 1/2 hours into it.

My first hotel was Mirror Lake Inn on ... you guessed it!... Mirror Lake. This was the mighty view from my cabin.

The main cabin.

Main Street.

My main man's property on Lake Placid (CEO of sony, that fucker).

I took a boat trip on lake placid (keep in mind, this is NOT the lake placid from the movie Lake Placid, so there were no damn man-eating monster crocodiles to hunt for)

suck my dock.

this was my cabin at Lake Placid Lodge, a pretty sweet hideaway for celebs.

these were the two serbian housekeepers I had convinced to give me a full-body massage for an hour in my cabin (long story, and thanks guys!)

The exhaustive (but beautiful) train ride back. This bald guy was all like "ohmigod it's like so gorgeous"

psychics, vortexes and dead people in Arizona

2008-10-08T13:47:00.004-04:00

because i'm on this (prognosticated: transient) kick to travel more domestically, i decided to head to the southwest, known for..well, nothing! and maybe fate was telling me not to go. after the nightmare trip getting there (delta would not let me board the plane, i had to buy a new ticket on united, car rental company had problems with my reservation when i landed and i finally got to the hotel at 3 am), i thought.. well mercury is in retrograde—grin and bare it.

after all, it was fucking gorgeous in scottsdale.

the new W hotel had a pretty cool rooftop pool scene (those are portholes in the bottom of the pool!) where i macked on all the hot closeted arizonans in their "i'm almost straight" clothes.

because i wasn't feeling the cosmopolitan vibe of downtown scottsdale, i headed to four seasons troon north, completely removed from the city and fronting some ridic sublime views and sunsets.

i thought it would be cool to hike pinnacle peak mountain. not a good idea at 2 pm when it's 143 degrees...

get the fuck out of my shot!

hot (ish) dad alert.

nobody told me the long-ass trail wasn't a loop.. and that i would eventually end up...

in the middle of nowhere... this is basically where i came to, stood for about 20 minutes wondering what my next plan was when i waved down a heavily botoxed (and sweet!) woman in her SUV who drove me 20 minutes back to the resort.

in the morning, i headed to Sedona, one of the most spiritual places in the world due to the strong energy vortexes here, the effortlessly commanding beauty of the red rock and all the fucking weird ass bohemian granola heads who are all certified spiritual healers (and why yes that is bird shit on my windshield)

this was the metaphysical healer/president of metaphysical/spiritual association i got to meet. just kidding. he didn't want to get pictured. but we had a session after our interview and , wow, apparently i'm very psychic! i saw dead people (from his past lives), holograms of him, the room disappeared and I saw his auras and his guides. he was impressed i went quickly and directly to level 3 on an altered state. watch out! i know what you're doing..

a trip to sedona isn't a trip to sedona if you don't venture into the mountains.

no matter how tired and hot you are.

my guide made me do yoga in front of the two vortexes (far left and far right). between them is the place where UFOs are spotted and this is where you can be beamed into a third dimension. no joke. and i'm living proof. i came back with a bottle of ufoian tequila.

this is the best psychic in town (only works through word of mouth, doesn't have one of those hokey shops). we talked about everything from the elections to the economy to spirituality. she was the shit (will keep you posted when my interview is published). and she even gave me a reading. woah. double woah. she basically said i'm a strong, independent woman who was the coolest fucker in the world. well, shit. tell me something i don't know bitch!

gavlivia's wedding

2008-09-29T22:32:00.006-04:00

i was itching to go upstate. my favorite couple in the world was getting married . perfect timing! chris, double d, david morrow, drunk kim and i hopped into a rental (bmw, thank you) and headed to new paltz!

after getting lost for about an hour, we finally ended up at our weird ass hotel where weird ass kim got all weird on us.

the chapel was cute and reminded us of the Strangers (is tamara home?)

Carolina Herrera.. I'm sorry.. (and gav's in prada!!)

you can't tell but I made a funny joke. that's why they are all laughing.

but the funniest thing was when this girl's car fell in a ditch.

obviously, it stayed with me for a while.

omg, did you see the baby that i stole?

the reception was in a decked-out barn... how cool is that??

best photographer ever.

speaking of barn, i think my barn door was open?

double d was my date although he was all up some other boy's kool aid .

i don't blame him.

gav has a twin brother. no lie.

dinner? what? it was all about the cupcakes.

hey look! it's morgan spurlock from supersize me !

it was all about goodtimes (sure, it happens outside of eastern bloc). congratulations ! i love you both gavlivia!

Why cant you be more midwestern?

2008-09-22T14:56:00.004-04:00

My first trip to the midwest (i don't count chicago) actually wasn't that bad... first of all, i had to cover the opening of the W Minneapolis, so I was only there two nights. secondly, the event really fucked me up, so i never left the hotel!

Molly Sims was all up in my kool aid (or vice versa). this dude totally wanted in.

You can't tell but that fat guy behind me is pointing to the bar, NOT molly sims.

how henri cartier bresson of me

i have to admit it: they went all out for this event, especially with imprisoning these poor cabaretish dancers.

i don't remember why i took a picture of these midwesterners dancing, but here's a photo of midwesterners dancing.

this was the crew that cleared out my mini bar in my hotel suite after party... they're so fucking lucky they are total babes.

4 am. no lie. i think.

breaking the rules at goodtimes

2008-09-22T14:35:00.004-04:00

last week's goodtimes had everyone breaking the rules. Listen, if you're going to roll with the high rollers, don't roll in with rule breaking. We'll do just fine goodtimes style otherwise!

Rule 1: Don't stand at that specific spot... it's not a good place to stand in the bar. No reason, just don't do it.

Rule 2: If you're going to wear sunglasses in a bar, make sure you're hot.

Rule 3: Like this guy on the left. He can rock the sunglasses.

Rule 4: If you're both going to wear black-rim glasses, at least throw up a peace sign.

Rule 5: No laughing at the bar. See, the gay dude has got it down.

Rule 6: Get the fuck outta the dj booth or i'll play billy joel.

rule 7: lift your glasses higher so we know you're drinking.

rule 8: get the fuck outta the dj booth or i'll kill you.
rule 9: don't fucking look at me.

rule 10: don't block my view of the bar, like justin bond of kiki and herb is doing here.

rule 11: if you're gonna do this, might as well go all the way.

had a blast . smack smack, see you this wednesday ! love love ! smack smack ! yum yum! fun !

cruising pickle day in the lower east side

2008-09-16T00:01:00.003-04:00

it wasn't my idea. i get the phone call from joshua and jason, telling me that hot boys have invaded my street. so they obviously wanted to cruise. what's new.

the cruisers.

closer to monet.

hi!

you fucking wish.

straight to my bed, fool.

any day.

too easy. hand, platter.

burgler in the building

2008-09-14T09:06:00.002-04:00

so i hear a noise at 630 am and its my upstairs neighbor roni screaming "what the fuck are you doing here? do you live here?" response : "I'm looking for my friend" roni: "get the fuck out of here". so i look out my window and there's this random white dude, who looks like he just got out of some stupid white club, racing down our fire escape and sprinting down orchard, i have never seen a white boy run so fast, as if he was in harlem.
oh, you remember, roni, my hot straight upstairs neighbor, right?

anyway, police was involved, roni gets the in the car looking for this fucker.

to no avail. well, he did get to ride with some hot cops (obs, see below) but the best line of the day: "that's the first time i've been in a cop car without handcuffs on."

birthdays, drama and jetlag: goodtimes goes b a n a n a s

2008-09-14T07:33:00.006-04:00

well it didn't help that i arrived at 4 pm from switzerland and josh was away in croatia. so by the time it was 10 pm when i started, it was 4 in the morning for me. maybe dirk (bartender's bf) all in leather behind me (a poster i picked up in zurich) gave me the extra boost. maybe not, actually.

i have no idea who these boys are, but i think they had the longest legs of the night.

thanks ben for filling in while i took a power nap in the corner!

simon made a cameo even though school was in full effect.

it was my good friend david's birthday! so you knew all the flavorpill heads were out tonight (even my straight friend thomas, who gets cred for taking most of these photos!)

what a fucking dickhead.

mike frog finally made a guest appearance after never coming to goodtimes. ever.

imagine that.

xander came in all fashion week style, while christian took notes on how to wear sunglasses at night and heath (who also finally came out to say hi on a wed) took note.

who's the coolest guy in nyc?

anthony and mike lasted til 3 am. wow. i was slipping in and out of consciousness at that point.

hey! look who's back from europe, and look who he brung!

nita, another wed night first-timer.

darren, always angry cause i'm much more muscular than him.

someone actually got the reflection right. i'm sleeping in this picture. see you next week!

i, too, love oasis

2008-09-11T22:51:00.000-04:00

swiss ho-down

2008-09-09T12:32:00.006-04:00

so after hopping 494 trains throughout the alps, i finally ended up in zurich, where borja flew in from london so we could properly conquer the city together. hey. . could that be a hot guy behind him? what are the chances..
The limmat river is where "it" was at, and on the east side of it we discovered the swiss aren't as boring as we thought!

we met this dude in T&M, the 2-level obligatory gay club every european city has (although here in zurich it's common to find backrooms inside the clubs.. yay for porn, poppers and stds!)

the swiss obviously are a friendly bunch.

you think swiss you think chocolate, cheese, watches, yodeling... but does nobody remember zurich is where the dada cultural movement began? right on spiegel-gasse!

faucet-equipped fountains spewing natural mineral water was ubiquitous in the old city..

so were hot swiss germans.

i could make a great cheese-cutting joke here.... too easy, hand -> platter

yah, it was pretty fucking nice to get away..

we visited west zurich, the burgeoning district, home of Freitag's flagship store (made of large freight containers). Yes, i thought freitag was german as well. fucking swiss, always fooling us.

the great thing about this neighborhood is that it's really fucking industrial, so most stores/bars/clubs are basically gutted out factories and warehouses.

oh, this is the blood that pooled in the chunk of skin missing from my leg.

this is hans. yes, it looks like we're about to make out, but i don't kiss after bathroom quickies. just kidding. he's part of swiss tourism and just happened to know a lot about indie rock scene, thus eager to take us out..

coincidentally Purple Crush from Brooklyn were playing a show and the swiss ate these fuckers up like chocolate pancakes topped with cheese syrup stirred with a swiss knife while timed by a swiss watch.

i said bye to borja and headed to lausanne along lake geneva. obviously my terrace had sweeping views. it was great to sit on the deck chain-smoking amidst the clean air

it didn't make sense to come to lausanne without actually going on the lake...

and because the captain got pretty fucking drunk, he put the asian in charge. good thing i took that percocet, we would have been goners!

see you next year!

a belgian, a dane and a redneck in the swiss alps

2008-09-04T05:56:00.001-04:00

well i finally made it to the swiss alps after nearly missing my flight by going to the wrong airport (what's new). It's beautiful here, and what makes it pretty amazing is not only the landscape but the newly appointed UNESCO world heritage route to get here. the views from the train are no less than commanding (but don't expect to see heidi).

a select group of international journalists went up to Savognin, a small village of 1,000 but brimming with outdoor enthusiasts who like to hike, bike and garden. yep, garden.

a gondola took you 1,000 meters up for this swisstastic view...

and to this dude..

who made us zipline through the trees...

i bonded with manu (belgium, left) and magnus (denmark, right) the entire trip. because they are danish and belgium, they introduced me to binge drinking (that's right, don't trust these boys despite their glimmering smiles)

gorgeous lakes were ubiquitous...

hi.

magnus, manu and i decided to go mountain biking...

it was fucking tough going up hill and i was introduced to "bike gears". . . (and i never made it all the way to the top, thank you very much.

even still... seriously? fucking gorge.

this is like "dancing with the stars"... but with swiss flags. so, i guess, "dancing with the flags."

I'm only laughing because this belgium journalist broke her arm going downhill on a bike. just kidding. i'm laughing because she gave me some of her prescribed pain killers.

we're totally faking it. . .

the rivers were these unusually aqua-marine colors that you only find in skittles when you're tripping. or they were just really fresh...

this is about the only time you will ever see my smile this big in a photo.

take that, samtoine...

hi! come here.

because we were reporting on the UNESCO rail route, they made us try out several different trains... including this CARRIAGE-LESS train...

there were some fucked up people on the other trains we were on.

we got pretty drunk in a restaurant in the mountains with this random korean guy! not me.

and then stole a bottle of wine to drink down the gondola...

hungover, we ended up in st moritz, which is the like aspen, but the people are actually cool, and everything is a million times more expensive.

we rode a 100-year old steam engine...

but darjeeling limited tail-ending it style of course.

see you in zurich!!! here's bonus footage of drunk as hell manu playing the spoon as a flute (or "splute")

my weak end (jk, it was totes fun)

2008-08-31T16:51:00.004-04:00

jason, teddy and i headed to brooklyn for some outdoor Shining screening adventure!

teddy's head is totally blocking the waterfall

hey look! it's spencer, who broke my rib!

don't take this city for granted yall...

Red rum, mother fuckers

don't ask

i had to dj that night (i think it was the same night) but thank god my Daria of a gogo Dan was on the rounds... smile dan !

trippin out with the nabe

2008-08-31T16:38:00.002-04:00

this is my hot straight neighbor roni. it's also 6 am.
this is his bitch.

this is an ad for american apparel.

this is actually going nowhere.

atlantic spitty

2008-08-27T13:23:00.004-04:00

somehow the g.m. at club mur.mur found out i was in the city and made sure i sat in the dj booth all night for this wonderful view.

fuck the olympics- oahu has the hottest guys

2008-08-16T16:38:00.000-04:00

so molokai was a little too Simple Life for me... so i headed to the popular, tourist-laden island of oahu...

it's rather gorgeous, eh?

my corner suite at the hilton puts halekulani to fucking shame (or maybe i'm just bitter- they wouldn't host me as i called the Pr director the devil to her face last time i was here)

hey , look ! it's bud ! yes a reunion was in store.

bud and i ended up at a traditional luau where they roasted the fuck out of this pig..

then celebrated for killing it...
one mai tai later, i got involved in the action...

aloha hot fucker...

this dude to the right can do a luau on my lap-au anyday...

my new favorite australian person... gary even shares the same birthday as me! talk about a handful...

now.. on to hot boy olympics! volleyball never looked so goood...

this guy won a gold medal for walking...

sadly, this hot stud came in second...

runner up goes to this monkey...

surfing champ, hottie mc-i'll do you

he won a medal for retaining the "i'm from sweden" alabaster skin tone.

and this one was the youngest to join the games...
these guys received red flags for being too cool for school

and this dude was just a little too far away from my lens for me to gauge what kind of award (or reward) he deserves..

this guy was pooped from a long day of looking fine..

and this dude was straight -to-my-room worthy. .

see you on the big island in two months!

the lost islands of Hawaii (or sorta)

2008-08-12T22:25:00.005-04:00

so my next assignment brought me to Hawaii. Because the subject was "royal Hawaii" for a (ahem) bridal magazine, I had to trace the history of hawaiian royalty and incorporate it into cool and "luxurious" activities found on the islands today. This brought me to only three islands with the majority of royal history: kauai, molokai and oahu.

kauai is voted one of the world's best islands by all the top travel mags. and it's pretty fucking true. it's gorgeous. beaches are so sublime you think of the band and wonder how the fuck they got that name. in any case, i stayed at the princeville resort (which is shutting down next month to upgrade to a st regis by april).

this was my $1,200 a night suite. why???

lovely beach i never frolicked on..

but i did rent a convertible. how cool am i? Only to learn, after driving for about 10 minutes, EVERYBODY RENTS A FUCKING CONVERTIBLE.

these were my favorite summer boys

i took a private helicopter tour of the island and because they don't allow journalists to take their own photos, here's another lovely view from princeville...

there's a ton of beaches here, and i found the best one (not on tourist maps)

the beaches, i found, have pretty strong waves, but that's fine with me ! i love the beach!

I took a hopper to Molokai, the most "hawaiian" of the islands. they weren't fucking kidding. it's a throwback to retro, a walk in the sixties, the "real" hawaii. . . but it's also b uh . b. . buuuh... buu buh buh boooring!! gorgeous yes, but there are two bars, two gas stations, no streetlights, one hotel and a bunch of mules. oh and this gorgeous coconut grove.

i found another beach not on maps.

mule riding is the number one activity here.

here's the phallic rock. really. the phallic rock, a major highlight on the islands.

of course i had to ride it...

off to oahu tomorrow... until next time!

why can't fat girls and gay guys just get along??

2008-08-03T00:02:00.001-04:00

jerks and gay-cos

2008-07-29T17:11:00.008-04:00

so when nikki beach, you know that crazy club chain known for its lavish parties, asked me to dj for a weekend at their new resort in turks & caicos. i said no. wait, i THOUGHT no... but i said yes... and thank god. cause this is what i would have missed

Limo service from the airport with a bottle of Veuve waiting for us, and our new friends!

uh. sweet suite anyone?

i would have missed eating sushi off this beyotch

and checking out the bitches and hos...

of course i wouldn't have been doing this...

or laughing with (at) our new crazy go go friend carrie...

hey look! it's doug e fresh!

i wouldn't have djed for the white trash drunks poolside..

or seen borja do his best pose to date...

wouldn't have met cute lesbian couple #1 ...

hot damn, that bitch needs to go... hey boy... hi!

look! lesbian couple number two !

I would have missed carrie macking on this hot dude who was wearing those white trunks with no underwear so his wee wee was flapping about..

i would have missed this incredibly incredible knock out massage

or the opportunity to bring the 80s back...
and i'm sure going to miss having sex with johnny, the canadian construction worker who just wanted to play volleyball. thanks johnny, the sex was fantastic!

i'm going to miss you johnny ! call me, baby !

Yoko boys of summer (or fall 2009, rather)

2008-07-28T17:25:00.003-04:00

MORNING WOOD, models and shit

2008-07-28T17:06:00.004-04:00

Wait, so what did we miss this past week?

well, antoine realized that i'm fluent in spanish and cool.

and my friend borja finally arrived from london and the boys were all up in his kool-aid...

meanwhile eastern bloc got a go-go upgrade...

and the band morningwood invaded my block in the lower east side for a free outdoor concert. wow, i have never seen so many 16 year olds in my life!

ken was stoked cause he got to hang with the bitch.

down the street, who knew the hotel on rivington had one of the finest views of the city??

and some of the hottest boys around town??

Matt and I discovered a section of the city called ... something like ... wall street area?

and yoko devereaux didn't disappoint with his fall 2009 fashions.

dance much? ?

2008-07-14T23:02:00.004-04:00

summer in the city (diesel party, ps 1, breeders)

2008-07-14T19:50:00.006-04:00

i decided i wanted to know what it was like to leave my apartment. so i met up with the gays (spencer, matt, jason, marcos, etc) and pre-gamed at High Bar for some free hot dogs and booze (thanks Diesel!)

we ran into joseph who tried knocking on my backdoor-- but i hate jewish people
just kidding! jews abound! (ish)

jason thought it would be funny to put a handful of ice in my underoos

that shit was cold!

after we dried out the bar, we took the subway over to queens. which reminds me: gay people are crazy. and spencer (right) fractured one of my ribs this weekend. thanks spencer!

PS 1 was so on ! there were even black people there !

hey look ! it's carlos, mr gay international, who we met in madrid!

jason danced for this hot dude outside the portapotties

then we came back to my home for some budget karaoke

sunday it was all about the Breeders... bitches sang Safari, my faaavorite song, which the crowd did not know.

i love james, especially after getting us those VIP passes . thanks james!

a subway and booze and will ferrell was involved here.

matt is sad about leaving madrid. even though that was like a week ago, matt.

to cure his blues, we headed to metropolitan for sunday bbq... look who's back from cyprus! anthony who fell off his bike!

this is james and i doing the whole "we're getting out if this shot" shot.

there is one straight guy in this picture. you win a dollar if you can find him. just kidding. they're all fags.

late news... but Spain wins Eurocup!

2008-07-11T19:50:00.002-04:00

party in the fucking barcelonian streets!

gay pride madrid !!!!

2008-07-11T19:15:00.003-04:00

needless to say, i don't remember much (except chueca)

check out my recaps here:
queerty.com
paper magazine

hot guys in valencia spain?

2008-07-01T17:56:00.006-04:00

they're not joking when they say all the hot guys are in valencia (thanks borja)... sure there are some commanding plazas and buildings

like this one...

but there are some hot guys in their kitchens...

and hot guys tanning...

hot guys ready for some beach action...

hot guys at the beach...

hot guys all wet...

hot guys at cafes...

hot guys on the bus.

my future boyfriend pedro..
hot guys at celebrity sightings...

i know, you would think just 1 1/2 days we wouldn't get any sightseeing in... don't worry. it was done...

Go Espana, Euro 2008 !

2008-06-30T06:08:00.005-04:00

because ann and i happened to be in Spain when they advanced to quarter finals (major victory in 44 years!) we had no choice but to join the celebrations in the streets...

i love spaniards .

and shirtless spaniards..

and happy spaniards..

oh hi. whats your name?

things got a little rowdy down in las ramblas..

and people got naked...

silly , silly ann really thinks i'm taking a picture of her.

this hot dude (l) was all up in my camera...

f to the i to the e to the s to the t to the a
more partying. . . ann was afraid of getting "clocked in the head"

i on the other hand was victim of some messiness this guy had up his sleeve. fool, gettin me all wet and shit.

this adorable 20 year old was nice enough to smoke me and ann up (first time in about 7 years... but hey, i'm in spain!)

this 20 year old was all up in ann's kool aid. but bitch gave him the finger wag.

sleep in barcelona?

2008-06-29T17:49:00.005-04:00

people always ask me... what's there to do in barcelona? well....

wine is quite popular..

but you can always start out at the contemporary museum and check out the lively scene outside...
or watch porn in your hotel room.

the ancient roman wall is something that every tourist must see...

or you can do silly things with phallic objects in your hotel room.

the Gaudi House encapsulates this famous architects definitive work..

and the nightlife scene does the same for barcelona lifestyle...

cute spanish boys abound, if you're into random sex...

and sightseeing is a must..

especially make sure you check out the local goods around you...

or you can watch porn in your hotel room..

oh, and go spain !

gay gay gay gay gay gay gay super gay as in i played kelly clarkson

2008-06-26T16:39:00.005-04:00

goodtimes last night, word.

someone stripped for a drink ticket (hey, it is the east village after all)

benji didn't get no kisses but an exciting tank top!

and johan thinks my roommate cat looks like nicole kidman from the side.

full moon + gay = goodtimes

2008-06-19T15:54:00.004-04:00

maybe it was the full moon that made the gays behave ... well, not so appropriately... but, hey, what do you expect at goodtimes?

our favorite ex-g0-go kyle was pissed because i played billy joel.

antoine was just being himself.

these guys were really up to no good... you can't see, but the two guys on the end were holding the middle guy's balls.

hey, look! it's will, the lead singer of imperial teen!

sam has no gayme... even with this random black guy... oh wait, that's eddie!

kyle sucks mic(k)

newbie andy (left), mike (mids) and french cutie max (right) were all up in my kool aid all night, forcing me to be a bad dj.

i love it when guys roll through already on ecstacy.

oh look! the guy who hates my music! but there was that MGMT confession...

someone threw something which ended up in my hand and in max's mouth... almost

see you at our SUPER GAY GOODTIMES next week

myspace comment of the year

2008-06-12T01:09:00.007-04:00

well i'm in atlanta and there's a thunderstorm so what else is there to do than read your redneck friend's myspace comments? this is the real deal:

Zach Jenkins- who wantz to feel the zachhammer

Jun 9 2008 8:59 PM

well i'm glad to here your priorities are coming in to play. having a kid is the single most amazing thing to had ever happened in my life. it's changing everything man. chris i do love you dude, like my blood man me and you have had some great time togather so i'll be strait up with you. Jen told me that you stole my ipod, jordans camera, i personally had a lot of clothes come up missing. anyways... I'm not blaming you. i'm just saying that i helped you with alot of shit,and for you to have done that,that would have been pretty shady but as far as i know thats in the past, even if it was you that stole, i would forgive you. your friendship is worth more than those material things. if you didn't do that shit than i'm sorry i came at you that way. you don't owe me any explanation, because it's not an acusation, i don't know if that is spelled right lol. we need to hang out. anyways get at me.