buenos aires: HOT GUY OLYMPICS part 2 !

ahhh.. buenos aires....a city that americans can still travel to without putting a fucking hole in their wallet... where the guys are as hot as the day is long (and equally hot). Because I had a head cold the last time I came here with my friend mike, I had to do it all over again the right way!


Eva Peron + this dress = iconic... Sure Madonna put the "diva" in Eva (omg, I just made that up right now, no lie) but Eva is clevah.. you betteh believah (ok, i'll stop)

who knew argentines were so "arty" ? the modern museum was one for the books, especially because they had air conditioning.

big thank you to American Airlines, who was a sponsor. and there goes their rep, javier, who was always on his phone bitching about the high-maintenance journalists... (just kidding. he was only bitching about me)

oh look! it's the 4th oldest subway in the world!

if you don't watch the news like me, you would have missed this big-ass protest that broke out on the streets (and you know shit is going down when they cover their faces)

I'm not even going to get in the politics. but, hey, the real point here: I was part of a protest!

to escape the political chaos, we headed to Tigre, home of the biggest delta in the world and a hot tourist spot for south americans (that's right, folk! americans are too lazy for that 45 minute drive!) you can totes see buenos aires from here.


oh, btw: these are my bitches! Karentina (left bitch) and i go way back (dominican republic and india) and carly (right bitch) is my caribbean ho (puerto rico and barbados). we always try to organize our schedules so we can travel together.

speaking of crush of the day, this was our host, miguel, who's putting bunny ears on me. I know a better place he can put those fingers .... (in a bowling ball, of course!)

Tigre's museum was actually cool (transformed from the country's first casino), and it was pretty fun crashing this photo shoot.

boca.. where the original italians first immigrated... and home of tango, the argentine version of Tang.

speaking of things we should put in our mouths, it's all about beef here.


it's ok to be a little weird in Buenos Aires, like this 90 year old man decked out in army gear in the middle of the day for no reason.

or this weird fool who's butt still hurt from falling down that hill in nevis.

"butt" (get it?), all in all, buenos aires is a beautiful city with some rich culture that is bound to sweep YOU off your feet. O- lay ! (oh wait... that's wrong)

and now... i present HOT GUY OLYMPICS... ARGENTINE STYLE!

Of course, I had to start at the airport in AA business lounge... this dude is all like "I know you're taking a photo of me cause i'm so hot so i'm going to pretend like I don't have this boner from looking at you earlier"

if i formed a cup with my hands, i'd totally let this guy throw up in it.

thanks, Sheraton, for providing "i just got home or I'm just leaving" fantasies.

ah.. nicholas... marketing manager for argentina tourism... who knew they hired 17 year olds?

speaking of guys who should be walking around with no pants on...

this hot dude was on my catamaran cruise and this is the luckiest baby in the whole fucking world

hey dude, like, awesome bracelet!

i was totally busted but this mo totally didn't care...

speaking of guys who should be on Tool Academy, this dude is the WINNER of Hot Guy Olympics: Argentina.

he obs doesn't give a shit. security guard is like: "dude, i got my sunglasses at sears!"

these gays were so lost that they totally forgot how fucking retarded they looked by dressing the same.

i swear this guy is hot when he's not smiling.

Second place goes to: this hot waiter who stole my flip flop, inducing a quiet panic and confusion while I looked for it, then put it back under my chair 20 minutes later. who does that??? carly, who is probably NOT sleeping, will be sure to get an answer.

see you in uruguay (or as squirrel bell likes to say: "you're a gay!"

all-abusive Punta Cana getaway

there really wasn't anything abusive except the hot hammering sun when I arrived in Punta Cana. Aside from really hot Russians (DR is, after all, a favorite for Eastern Europeans) uneducated white trash American tourists really love it down here! after all, I made the trek!


I came on assignment to review the new Reserve, the boutique resort within the Paradisus Palma Real Complex (part of the Sol Melia brand, which I LOVE)

I had a swim-up suite in my backyard, and my own private, low thatch-roof palapa from where I sat cross-legged and put war paint on my face (the kids loved this)

wow. i mean, "how"

I got a chance to test out the clarity of my new G10... I was aiming for that chair but this kid just happened to get in the way

twice.

I love europeans.

did you happen to catch the full moon on january 10? you should have. it caused a shitstorm (not as bad as mercury going into retrograde the next day!)

oh, look! it's mario lopez (ish)!

damn bitches. why yall gotta ruin my shot??

my friends were totally pissed it was snowing and 10 degrees at night in nyc.

who knew that punta cana would actually have a really cool "hipster"y bar?

that also had swings...

and a completely gorgeous nighttime setting

speaking of my new camera, did i mention the zoom?

this fucker tried to hide from my shot but i think he was just annoyed cause we had sex like zero times.

until next time!

megan, you drunk bitch , don't eff with sharon !

MTV Shows

blair witch nevis

there's actually nothing scary about Nevis, the completely unspoiled, unexploited island in the caribbean. well, maybe the scariest thing is that cursing is ILLEGAL. no joke (you can get summoned to court). what else is illegal? Making false rumors (don't ever accuse someone of having an abortion). despite taking the fun out of talking the way i talk, nevis is one of the coolest islands i've ever visited. all the accommodations are 200+ year old plantations transformed into luxury inns. my cottage had antiques from the 1700s. how cool is that? said tone loc

because i love you, i want you to see me sitting in a mineral rich pool. it was HOT, straight from the volcano.

Hey ! so Alexander Hamilton was actually NEVER a president like I thought he was (this is where he was born). But he was kinda hot and totally had napoleon complex, a total turn on.

I had the privilege of meeting Brice Marden, the iconic american minimalist painter. he was pretty cool, the kind of old man that still wears a snow hat and t-shirt, with a little bit of nose hair growing fast (my dad thinks its a sign of wealth, or wanting of wealth. i be rich alreads, keep it trimmed). anyway, brice totally turned the golden rock plantation inn into this awesome property, with stark red colors contrasting the caribbean decor.

oh, look! it's earla, my tour guide for nevis peak. she forgot to remind me that i'm a fucking retard sometimes... which could have prevented me from falling on my tailbone down the trail.

oh, before i get to the hospital, did i tell you that nevis is one of two islands that actually has monkeys? shitloads of them. locals hate them cause they pick at their gardens. tourists love them cause they're crazy ass monkeys! in the caribbean! who woulda thunk?

so when i fell on my ass, it really wasn't a crisis situation. my lower back/butt was injured so it hurt to touch. so i just stood a lot . then decided it was TIME to get my butt checked out.

this was the AWESOME waiting room i got to spend time in before a nurse put a shot on my butt (it actually did hurt). but hurt no more the next day.

because i was better, i had to find someone to stalk. it's only right. this british kid did juuust fine.

speaking of fine, and stalking...

until next time...