toronto reunion

so it's been 8 years since i've been back to my former stomping ground toronto (which you think dates me but because i was there when i was 18, that makes me 26 years old!).

of course, the first thing i had to do was see my TO BFF kris.

oh, wait, first, here's the skyline from my room at the park hyatt. have you noticed how much it's changed?

i also reunited with my friend jeremy, where we drank beers in this parking lot. just like old times!

tatijana is still the same beautiful person she was 8 years ago, and pretty strong considering she was effortlessly holding my drunk ass up.

hey look, it's anderson cooper! just kidding. that's adam.

this big black guy at the gay bar woody's is all like, "wait a minute.... wrong bar?"

my after party was pretty nutty, especially since cait grew her hair out , whatever that means (i'm on like 3 deadlines so none of these deks will make sense ish)

foxley ... the new restaurant opened by the chef of tempo, where i used to work, and he still only staffs gay guys!

kris is on, like 2 hours of sleep, thanks to the bag of heroin.

reunion.

of course, i had to go out and see the fake dinosaurs at the ROM...

and check out frank gehry's facelift to the oga.

look, andy warhol! i wasn't supposed to take this photo but i gave the security guard a handjob in the elevator.

tat's new baby!

kris hard at work. his paintings. www.krisknight.com

until next time ...

g-rated paris

because i'm getting into all sorts of trubs with my blog, i thought i would go g-rated. how lovely and wonderful !

here i am in front of the eiffel tower! you won't ever see a local posing for the same shot!
not only was it the french open, some racing thing, and mother's day but there was an infestation of these oversized, plastic rabbits!

can you believe i had to eat one of these fuckers at a michelin rated restaurant?

this is where cecilia (style.com) had her phone stolen from her bag while april (elle mag) tried to cancel her blackberry... only two hours after we had arrived!

you could see the eiffel tower from any vantage point, really

but sometimes i wasn't really paying attention.

who doesn't love collette?

oh, so the main reason i was in paris... i was reporting on issey miyaki's new fragrance launch (august 2009) which is going to be wicked awesome... !

here's a sneak peek of the bottle. more to come

i spent some time at notre dame where tribute was paid to crew and passengers of the disappearing plane. very sad.

more sad was this american couple who were like "hey, what's that glass thing comin from the ground?"

checked out the new philippe starck-designed bon restaurant..

i'm sorry.. what??? vintage louis vuitton elevator at le dokhan??

while we're on the subject of designers, christian dior institute is one for the books

as is the glam plaza athenee (where carrie bradshaw stayed in the final episodes of sex in the city)

oh look! drunk journalists.

and who can't forget martin (middle) who showed me the caves of paris. good thing we found this hottie (right) who didn't speak a fucking word of english ! (or french , for that matter, as he was waaassted)

until next time from my hotel room!

plane crashes, guys who stare and $200 lobsters in St Barts

for (un)memorial day, joshua and i decided to take a "weekender" to the glammy whammy french St Barts in the Caribbean. It's a crazy commercial flight over (from st maarten) where the puddle jumper (i like to think "private jet") literally takes a nosedive into the runway.


You absolutely have to rent a car. Joshua, who got his drivers licence like an hour ago, drove the whole time with the parking brake up, hit a few things, scratched up the car, started the windshield wipers when not necessary and didn't know how to put it in 4WD... and he's STILL a better driver than me

we stayed at the uberluxe Guanahani, in a 2-br oceanview suite. Joshua was obs happy about this.

Oh, did I mention our own private pool (with alarm, fugged up i know!)

we made friends with turtles and iguanas and, after eating them, we just swam a lot.

this was our shitty view. jk. it was off the chizaiin

our favorite beach was saline... nude optional!

hey! who's the dumbass who put out their cigarette on their sand-colored towel thinking it was sand?

speaking of idiot, this guy could get it.

did i mention nudity? oui oui, merci !

here's that flying guy and how i was supposed to put this picture before the "he's flying" picture but it's like 1:30 and i have to go to the gym soon.

oh shit here's that hot guy who caught me taking a picture of him. he totally wanted me though.

joshua and i went sailing one early morning and on our way back to the beach...

we saw this! a fucking plane crashed!

it's so LOST. . as in no one was hurt... for now.

this is st jean, where we did our sailing and shit and the water was like a warm bath.
un otro island shot.

guess which car joshua parallel parked?

this french guy was all like, "oui oui! I like zee outdoor sports!" Im like shut the fuck up and show me your huge dack (a dack is a handmade fishing rod )

until the next $200 lobster!

back to the santiago/ buenos aires future (or past) . . wait... ?

last week, it was back to sunnny santiago (if you could see through the fog. cause the sky ain't white). statue one: "what the fuck?" statue two: "I know , right?"




i somehow ended up at this table full of white people eating asian food because that's what they like! ethnic food! it was actually delish on a dish.

the business guy in Lan airlines' business class on the left is like, "shit. i'm going to miss Drag Race."

i love santiagoaners. especially orlando (second to left) who was all like: "come to this after party with me" at like 5 am. i'll show you after party, bitch.

joe is sooo misshapes !

speaking of joe, thanks for the friendly bitch slap heard around the world (give or receive, you'll never know).

(give).


anyway, we did that whole get on the airplane and see what it's like when someone lights a cigarette thing or something. look! it's santiago in a plane! jk. I LOVE santiago. but orlando sucks.

oh, we totally saw this spanish woman sing at a tango show when we arrived in buenos aires. it was a total surprise, bitch could belt it.

this bitch about to bust.

nothing is as swank as philippe starck's faena hotel + universe.

not even axel hotel, the only gay-only hotel in south america. but it was totes awesome, with lots of glass and mirrors and glass. like glass wall showers glass.

until next time, take the stairs ! that makes absolutely no sense but i accidentally uploaded this photo and needed something catchy!

getting gay in st tropez

not really. i was the only. what was not gay?

caves du roy. sorry tomkat, i got vip , beyotches.


cristal, beyotches.

my yacht, fools.

spoon by alain ducasse

far left, thanks.

my duplex with patio at byblos hotel.

this douchebaggy hot brit who really wore that scarf that way.

my beyotches.

and my hos to the left, hos to the right

hot guys in australia and new zealand !

so my one-month jaunt in australia and new zealand with long-time pal, margaret (atlanta, represent!) brought us close to some dynamic cities, great attractions and, of course, those hot aussie bois!


margaret made me fly economy with her (ugh) but to make up for that shitty flight was this dynamic skyline in melbourne.

the street art in melbourne is ubiquitous, and one of the few cities in the world where it's embraced.

my favorite person in melbourne was the door guy, Tim.. what an aussie cutie!!
more street art, this wasn't planned to come after the previous photo but whatevs


i reunited with my parisian friend max, who moved out to australia to learn english. i mean, really? (by the by, he wants to move to new york in october. hook a brutha up with a job, fools!) i have major jetlag (and jetlag hair) in this photo, fashiz

we ended up meeting this Christian Australian. he was all like , I love god i love god, i was like blow me.

and stayed at some cool boutique hotels...

it's true! there is a beach in melbourne (aint as good as sydney but you make the best of what you've got, right?) this lifeguard should just pose all day, considering no one swims in that cold-ass water.

but people do walk around shirtless like hottie one and hottie two.

shopping was a blast cause i kept running into these hot dudes on the sidewalk who clearly busted me... like this hot fool

and this one...


we left melbourne on a good note to cruise new zealand for two weeks... at sea, there were some pretty awesome things like this volcano ejaculation (of lava and steam, yall)

i would have spent most of my time on this here deck....

but we had the beaches in taraganau for that, one of our first stops.

we also ate pretty well in Holland America's fine dining restaurant, where it turns out i was pretty "loud" (i am american after all yall)

margaret said this dude was like 15.. shit. with a body like that ... (our cruise ship in the back!)

h ha hahahahahaha hhhoooooot dude in new zealand.

hot irish guy in wellington (i'm just assuming he's irish... it's the lips)

scotty nylund, anyone?

who goes to australia without feeding kangaroos? this dirty ass kangaroo's mouth felt like a monkey butt fashiz

aww. and if you go to tasmania, you'll get all fuzzy over the endangered tasmanian devils...

nothing was as awesome as the hayman island resort in great barrier reef. somehow we managed to get upgraded to a lagoon suite. sweet!

some of the best scenery in australia really was from a boat.

like "frenchy" , for instance. the hot french dive instructor kid when we went out to the actual reef.

i mean... really? shit...

he was all like "jimmy i love you but you have to stop taking photos of me and just get in bed with me now. " I was like , "i can't do that my future husband because i can't let down my three blog readers."

we did go submarining...


and some glass-bottom-boating..

but the shizzle went off the wizzle palizzle in sydney australia. .

where the hotties just like to walk around shirtless.

well, at bondi beach, of course.

there were blonde hotties that REALLY needed that tan...

buff surfer hotties. .

posing hotties...

gay hotties...

buck-teeth hotties...

daddy hotties...

thug hotties..

skinny hotties...

and speedo hotties...!

none of which stayed at the lovely park hyatt hotel under the harbor bridge, but at least we had a view.. !

of the opera house right across the way!

we did hit mardi gras for a hot sec..

where this dude who wins hot guy olympics australia/new zealand really werked it with the sugar daddies
until next time!!

welcome to Chile

so. ok. i'm back in chile. it's been three years, and for some reason i feel like i'm doing it right this time (last time? boozing it up all day at ritz carlton in santiago, getting in car accidents in puerto montt and believing patagonia was nicer in argentina). this time? well, here goes...


I finally witnessed the great attractions Chile offers .... like large wine glasses!

i reunited with charles (behind me), and got to hang out with other cool journalists.. andrew evans (national geographic), chantel (bon appetite) and shira lazark (tv personality more than a journalist but she was perfect for this show we are filming)

our 16th floor lounge at the grand hyatt santiago was off the chile-ain...

shira, charles and i went out for my birthday at this private, underground party in the hills. the shitty dj actually took my birthday request (arcade fire: rebellion). hey, at least he played a good song!

shira brought the l.a.


this dude on the right is crazy. once he found out we were journalists from the US, he wouldn't stop following us around. who really wants to be around some douchebag in a retarded shirt?

food was orgasmic.

we eventually ended up in valparaiso, one of the most stunning, visually inspiring cities i've been to in my life. big statement, i know, but no lie.

the ubiquitous street art was as thrilling as the views.

it's gritty and urban and poor and beautiful and heartbreaking and raw

oh, btw, shira obs totes had a great time at that party in santiago!

sorry there's no hot guy olympics, but there's hot street art !

pablo neruda . that bastard and his nice home

incredible views of the port can be had.

obviously a trip to chile isn't complete without a trip to a vineyard... a couple times.

nothing like the scent of penguin shit getting caught up in the wind, blown into your eyes!

oh , we played with sheep too.

but the penguins were the real shizzle.

all walking toward an apocalyptic sun (hey... punta arenas is the "end of the world" after all)

speaking of penguins, there are so many here in chile's southern tip!

i was fortunate enough to meet this famous artist who's name i already forgot. but his house was cool.

our days were long as shit (averaged 5 hours of sleep) so dinners were wicked short, no matter how gorgeous the view was.

speaking of views, this was my cabin in patagonia.

where the views are fucking b to the t everywhere you go.

see. no lie.

everywhere.

the ones who bring the world to you or something like that.
oh, this backdrop appears fake, but it's quite real !

dedicated camera crew

and rock climbing! done and done! see you soon!

hot guy olympics: Uruguay!

are uruguayans hotter than argentines? you decide.

hot dads rule.

i was totally caught by these dumbasses who were like 50 feet away. the surfer dude on the left is totally rockin the 70s look and some yummer arms though

hola! como esta! let's fuck !

this guy totally practiced his beach walk before he came.

that little kid behind the hot stud on the right is totally farting.

those army cargos would look better off... or on his head like a chefs hat!

the bronze metal goes to this dumb american jock who somehow learned that punta del este was cool... but nobody told him what was uncool was his boardshorts. off, please.

this guy is totes cuddle material.

this guy is a date rapist, but a hot one.

speaking of cute boys who don't need to overcompensate with retard-ay goatees

i thought this guy was checking out the girl's ass but you can't see that big tub of lube to her right. no joke.

let's hope this guy's mullety hair doesn't get any mulleter.

look! it's ryan goseling's younger brother !

i know where you can put that antique key, bitch. . . in a door lock!

dude in the middle was off the chain hot ... and married. the girl on the left really thought i wanted her in the shot.

no lie: this guy was the housekeeper. talk about fantasy

as you noticed, i started giving up on sneaky shots and just flat out made this hottie pose for me. this dude totally wants to win a metal for hot guy olympics uruguay. hmm. ok, you come in second with a silver..

hung, horse, you get it.

the winner of hot guy olympics uruguay... marcelo! or whatever his name was. he can serve me drinks all fucking day. and i can write anything i want to about it cause he doesn't have a computer. "I like to be all natural," he said. whatever fool. then take off your clothes.

but the close calls were: doorman at sheraton montevideo, who actually looks a lot better when he's frowning (which he did 25/7)

this dude who clearly illustrates it's ok to walk around town shirtless. no big deal

my future husband marcelo

and uruguay's jamie oliver (far right)

Ur- a - gay (or uruguay)

Uruguay is an underrated country with awesome attractions abound. It's also very European (there are no true native uruguans as it was settled by the portuguese who fought the spanish, more history stuff, but yeah, you get it)... From beachside resorts to cool farms (I know, right?), it's definitely positioned itself as one the emerging destinations for 2009. Not to mention the guys here are hotter than the guys in argentina (see the Hot Guy Olympics in the next post!)

I took the 45-minute ferry across the rio de la plata to land in colonia del sacramento, a UNESCO world heritage city (as of 1995). Just outside the "old city" was the resort town, catering to... you guessed it ! argentines. and this fat asian. who, 1 hour into checking in, already made myself feel at home.

the sunsets were quite unrivaled and the views pretty terrific from my window. You can't see, but there's Jason vorhees behind that tree.

karentina and i shacked it up in the spa pretty much 24-7 when we were at the property. here i'm imitating me imitating a british bodybuilder imitating me.

believe it or not, we went to visit the home/museum for the Guiness World Record guy who owns the most pens in the world. he also owns other stupid shit.

obs, the highlight was the old city itself, founded by the portuguese. the cobble stones were erratic, just the why i like it, and the city at night was pretty fucking magical.

oh, hey look! it's michael luongo... the guru on argentina (he wrote the frommers guide book). he played argentina hookey and came to uruguay with us, where this guy interviewed him for god knows what.

speaking of other "celebs", our host (sergio) was all about gettin in front of the camera with $10 sunglasses.

this one's for me straights. git it.

i have to admit, all the traveling and sightseeing gets us pooped (in transit to punta del este!)

but i was happily awake to meet mr carlos paez vilaro, who constructed the striking, inhabitable adoble sculpture in punta del este. unfortunately his dumb-ass assistant has no idea how to take a photo. hey moron! angle the fucking camera so the light is out of our faces, be-yotch!

this is his masterpiece.

speaking of aerial views, we took a helicopter ride to check out the scene. they made the mistake of hiring me as co-pilot.

punta.

of course, we didn't want to miss the inauguration so we had to get a laptop hook up. go obama!

jose ignacio is punta del este 50 years ago. no high rises, no cramped beaches and totally unspoiled (oh, and chockfull of hotties!)

i had the honor to meet one of uruguay's top artists, Pablo Atchugarry, at his studio/gallery. His art was pretty amazing. What else was pretty amazing?

his fucking hot SON...

who just decided to walk around shirtless all day.

during interviews and important tours. .

obviously his mom did not give a shit either.

speaking of old ladies, can you believe this bitch is a princess??? she was all like, "fuck that i aint getting my picture with this fool eatin all my food"

and the winner of hot beach olympics... la barra!

but a solid competitor is the whole coast of la rambla in Montevideo...

ignacio ALMOST made Hot Guy Olympics but he didn't take his shirt off when i requested.

oh, and these guys ALMOST made it too but they took me to a shitty restaurant.

speaking of threesomes, meet my new friends. !

who took me out to experience the nightlife, which i have to admit, wasn't that bad.



what else wasn't bad?... the Uruguayan wine. obs.

buenos aires: HOT GUY OLYMPICS part 2 !

ahhh.. buenos aires....a city that americans can still travel to without putting a fucking hole in their wallet... where the guys are as hot as the day is long (and equally hot). Because I had a head cold the last time I came here with my friend mike, I had to do it all over again the right way!


Eva Peron + this dress = iconic... Sure Madonna put the "diva" in Eva (omg, I just made that up right now, no lie) but Eva is clevah.. you betteh believah (ok, i'll stop)

who knew argentines were so "arty" ? the modern museum was one for the books, especially because they had air conditioning.

big thank you to American Airlines, who was a sponsor. and there goes their rep, javier, who was always on his phone bitching about the high-maintenance journalists... (just kidding. he was only bitching about me)

oh look! it's the 4th oldest subway in the world!

if you don't watch the news like me, you would have missed this big-ass protest that broke out on the streets (and you know shit is going down when they cover their faces)

I'm not even going to get in the politics. but, hey, the real point here: I was part of a protest!

to escape the political chaos, we headed to Tigre, home of the biggest delta in the world and a hot tourist spot for south americans (that's right, folk! americans are too lazy for that 45 minute drive!) you can totes see buenos aires from here.


oh, btw: these are my bitches! Karentina (left bitch) and i go way back (dominican republic and india) and carly (right bitch) is my caribbean ho (puerto rico and barbados). we always try to organize our schedules so we can travel together.

speaking of crush of the day, this was our host, miguel, who's putting bunny ears on me. I know a better place he can put those fingers .... (in a bowling ball, of course!)

Tigre's museum was actually cool (transformed from the country's first casino), and it was pretty fun crashing this photo shoot.

boca.. where the original italians first immigrated... and home of tango, the argentine version of Tang.

speaking of things we should put in our mouths, it's all about beef here.


it's ok to be a little weird in Buenos Aires, like this 90 year old man decked out in army gear in the middle of the day for no reason.

or this weird fool who's butt still hurt from falling down that hill in nevis.

"butt" (get it?), all in all, buenos aires is a beautiful city with some rich culture that is bound to sweep YOU off your feet. O- lay ! (oh wait... that's wrong)

and now... i present HOT GUY OLYMPICS... ARGENTINE STYLE!

Of course, I had to start at the airport in AA business lounge... this dude is all like "I know you're taking a photo of me cause i'm so hot so i'm going to pretend like I don't have this boner from looking at you earlier"

if i formed a cup with my hands, i'd totally let this guy throw up in it.

thanks, Sheraton, for providing "i just got home or I'm just leaving" fantasies.

ah.. nicholas... marketing manager for argentina tourism... who knew they hired 17 year olds?

speaking of guys who should be walking around with no pants on...

this hot dude was on my catamaran cruise and this is the luckiest baby in the whole fucking world

hey dude, like, awesome bracelet!

i was totally busted but this mo totally didn't care...

speaking of guys who should be on Tool Academy, this dude is the WINNER of Hot Guy Olympics: Argentina.

he obs doesn't give a shit. security guard is like: "dude, i got my sunglasses at sears!"

these gays were so lost that they totally forgot how fucking retarded they looked by dressing the same.

i swear this guy is hot when he's not smiling.

Second place goes to: this hot waiter who stole my flip flop, inducing a quiet panic and confusion while I looked for it, then put it back under my chair 20 minutes later. who does that??? carly, who is probably NOT sleeping, will be sure to get an answer.

see you in uruguay (or as squirrel bell likes to say: "you're a gay!"

all-abusive Punta Cana getaway

there really wasn't anything abusive except the hot hammering sun when I arrived in Punta Cana. Aside from really hot Russians (DR is, after all, a favorite for Eastern Europeans) uneducated white trash American tourists really love it down here! after all, I made the trek!


I came on assignment to review the new Reserve, the boutique resort within the Paradisus Palma Real Complex (part of the Sol Melia brand, which I LOVE)

I had a swim-up suite in my backyard, and my own private, low thatch-roof palapa from where I sat cross-legged and put war paint on my face (the kids loved this)

wow. i mean, "how"

I got a chance to test out the clarity of my new G10... I was aiming for that chair but this kid just happened to get in the way

twice.

I love europeans.

did you happen to catch the full moon on january 10? you should have. it caused a shitstorm (not as bad as mercury going into retrograde the next day!)

oh, look! it's mario lopez (ish)!

damn bitches. why yall gotta ruin my shot??

my friends were totally pissed it was snowing and 10 degrees at night in nyc.

who knew that punta cana would actually have a really cool "hipster"y bar?

that also had swings...

and a completely gorgeous nighttime setting

speaking of my new camera, did i mention the zoom?

this fucker tried to hide from my shot but i think he was just annoyed cause we had sex like zero times.

until next time!

megan, you drunk bitch , don't eff with sharon !

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