jerks and gay-cos

so when nikki beach, you know that crazy club chain known for its lavish parties, asked me to dj for a weekend at their new resort in turks & caicos. i said no. wait, i THOUGHT no... but i said yes... and thank god. cause this is what i would have missed

Limo service from the airport with a bottle of Veuve waiting for us, and our new friends!

uh. sweet suite anyone?

i would have missed eating sushi off this beyotch

and checking out the bitches and hos...

of course i wouldn't have been doing this...

or laughing with (at) our new crazy go go friend carrie...

hey look! it's doug e fresh!

i wouldn't have djed for the white trash drunks poolside..

or seen borja do his best pose to date...

wouldn't have met cute lesbian couple #1 ...

hot damn, that bitch needs to go... hey boy... hi!

look! lesbian couple number two !

I would have missed carrie macking on this hot dude who was wearing those white trunks with no underwear so his wee wee was flapping about..

i would have missed this incredibly incredible knock out massage

or the opportunity to bring the 80s back...
and i'm sure going to miss having sex with johnny, the canadian construction worker who just wanted to play volleyball. thanks johnny, the sex was fantastic!

i'm going to miss you johnny ! call me, baby !