love

let me know how they sound as my speakers are broken

starting to like barbados again

bel ami in the house (or on the boat, rather)

why Barbados wasn't included in the Kokomos song

i'm actually not sure why it wasn't included in the song, to be honest. Alls I know is that it's big on rich brits, low on gay. perhaps I'm just a lil burnt out from traveling?


because my friend carly who writes for aol didn't come in until late, the nice folk at the gorgeous, timeless fairmont royal pavilion set up an awesome dinner for one on my patio.

in the morning, carly and I could not wait to get smashed at the Mount Gay rum distillery!

we then decided to take a tour in Harrisons Cave, which totes reminded me of the Descent.

Seriously, don't trust this beyotch.

This was my best shot for Barbuda's Next Top Model, and it wasn't good enough for the judges, so I was sent home.

we did a lot of old people things. like check out George washington's home (2 months, when he was 19)

we checked out anorexics by the pool...

we ate some pretty weird risotto...

we ate hungover...

went to museums ... (getting the picture?)

but at least there's the beach....

the strangest things in Bimini, Bahamas

I suprisingly hadn't ever been to the bahamas and i didn't have high expectations going to Bimini. After all, it's a tiny island (pop 1,600) with not much to do besides... well, fishing (it's the fishing capital of the world, meaning rednecks, fat rednecks and the wonderful smell of gutted fish!).

I have to admit, I was so wrong (besides the redneck(ish) part). This island is truly amazing. Not only is it rich in history (this is where Ernest Hemingway vacationed, fashed, drank rum, wrote the novel Islands in the Stream) but its full of myths and legends the world over knows about. From the Fountain of Youth (it's HERE, not in Florida, boneheads), to the Lost City of Atlantis (they discovered large stones making a "road" in the middle of the sea that are made of granite (not found in bahamas) with grooves in the stones for easy assembly).

anyway, let me take you down memory lane, white trash style!


oh, it's like a 20 minute flight from miami (bimini is the closest to the states), and so we took a private plane and i guess the pilot was crazy enough to let me co-pilot... watch out, birds...

This was my crew, hippie to my left, diva to my right. loves ! They rep the island and tried to show me a good time. unfortunately there was no hummus so i was rightfully pissed.

Oh! so here's the fountain of youth. in the middle of nowhere. Ponce De Leon came to find it in the early 1500s after he was tipped off by indians. . . does it work? Let's find out... first you gotta pull the damn rope to get the pail from the water below.

surprising not as deep as that well jessica fell into

this was not a dare.

apparently it only works if you drink the water. i did. and it went back in the well.

compleat angler hotel, hemingway's old stomping ground no more.

i'm pointing to the Road to Bimini. That shit was nuts. you're snorkeling with sting rays, barracudas and other shit, and the underwater road is, well, seriously... i believe (as does ansil saunders, bonefishing guide i met, who took out martin luther king for a trip while he was writing his eulogy... MLK confessed to him that he had a weird feeling he was going to die soon. 3 days later, he was shot) anyway, yeah, atlantis..... atlantis once was...click here to see images of the road..
ever heard of the shark lab? 8 hot guys from all over the world and 3 girls shacking it up in a lab as researchers to study sharks in the area? anyway, google "shark lab" and the hot guy's myspace will turn up.

boxing in miami- what else is there to do?

sure there's the beach, but why go to the beach when you can go to a broker's boxing benefit?

and see hot sluts work it. . .


and hot sluts dance...

and see the best fashion in florida...

and see hot jewish coked out brokers box

and experience dumb hotness?

going Green(land) part 2

so it got fucking cold. and snowed. not a blizzard, but ish.

here is the tiny-ass town i'm staying in.

oh, and they throw seal guts back in the sea(l).

took a sail anyway...

loves.

ditto.

hey, look ! an iceberg! ok. its not as big as the one that took out the titanic (note: yes, it was a greenlandic iceberg)

the CUTEST kid in greenland!

I stopped over at the camp for the skiers of the arctic circle race. this dude has no idea.

note: there is a "hut" in the shape of a UFO that sleeps 11 in the middle of nowhere. another note: there are no trees in greenland.

view from my room.

the winner of the ACR!

Going Green(land)

Greenland obviously isn't the most sought-after destination. But I said fuck it and took the long-ass flight over. I had no expectations but arctic weather and sleepy towns but quite honestly, it's been a stunning trip. As soon as we landed in Kangerlussuaq, one of the main cities, we hopped on snowmobiles for a FIVE HOUR ride to the small town of Sissimiut. Sure, I was like, "do you fuckers know who I am?" but you can't always be a prince and little did I know it would be one of the most awe-inspiring moments in my life.

Before departing, I said goodbye to this dead muscan oxe.


I donned my helmet a la Uma Thurman, ready for the trek.


Two hours into it, of course MY fucking snowmobile broke down on top of a frozen lake.


But it was a blessing in disguise. I had time to absorb the commanding scenery (yep, they didn't need my help fixing the snowmobile, thanks). I have never been to a destination this quiet. I used to think that being submerged under water was the quietest it could ever get. But no. Here there's a roaring silence, so quiet that the sound of your breath is amplified.


Some more scenery. Half frozen lake that an Australian photographer fell into.


Hey! There's the town of Sissimiut up ahead!


100 miles of traveling on a snowmobile on intermediate terrain: priceless. Getting off the snowmobile, slipping on snow and injuring my hand: imagine that. Cute doctor who never treated me at the hospital for my injury.

Because I came to report on the Arctic Circle Race (the longest and most challenging in the world)....

Adorbs, local Innuit kids.

Dog sledding is the new Ferrari.


Ok, so maybe I can still be a prince. like a greenlandic one.

these bitches work hard for their money.

After all, there is a delicious reward!

That sometimes doesn't settle right.