Wednesday, October 8, 2008

psychics, vortexes and dead people in Arizona

because i'm on this (prognosticated: transient) kick to travel more domestically, i decided to head to the southwest, known for..well, nothing! and maybe fate was telling me not to go. after the nightmare trip getting there (delta would not let me board the plane, i had to buy a new ticket on united, car rental company had problems with my reservation when i landed and i finally got to the hotel at 3 am), i thought.. well mercury is in retrograde—grin and bare it.

after all, it was fucking gorgeous in scottsdale.

the new W hotel had a pretty cool rooftop pool scene (those are portholes in the bottom of the pool!) where i macked on all the hot closeted arizonans in their "i'm almost straight" clothes.

because i wasn't feeling the cosmopolitan vibe of downtown scottsdale, i headed to four seasons troon north, completely removed from the city and fronting some ridic sublime views and sunsets.

i thought it would be cool to hike pinnacle peak mountain. not a good idea at 2 pm when it's 143 degrees...

get the fuck out of my shot!

hot (ish) dad alert.

nobody told me the long-ass trail wasn't a loop.. and that i would eventually end up...

in the middle of nowhere... this is basically where i came to, stood for about 20 minutes wondering what my next plan was when i waved down a heavily botoxed (and sweet!) woman in her SUV who drove me 20 minutes back to the resort.

in the morning, i headed to Sedona, one of the most spiritual places in the world due to the strong energy vortexes here, the effortlessly commanding beauty of the red rock and all the fucking weird ass bohemian granola heads who are all certified spiritual healers (and why yes that is bird shit on my windshield)

this was the metaphysical healer/president of metaphysical/spiritual association i got to meet. just kidding. he didn't want to get pictured. but we had a session after our interview and , wow, apparently i'm very psychic! i saw dead people (from his past lives), holograms of him, the room disappeared and I saw his auras and his guides. he was impressed i went quickly and directly to level 3 on an altered state. watch out! i know what you're doing..

a trip to sedona isn't a trip to sedona if you don't venture into the mountains.

no matter how tired and hot you are.

my guide made me do yoga in front of the two vortexes (far left and far right). between them is the place where UFOs are spotted and this is where you can be beamed into a third dimension. no joke. and i'm living proof. i came back with a bottle of ufoian tequila.

this is the best psychic in town (only works through word of mouth, doesn't have one of those hokey shops). we talked about everything from the elections to the economy to spirituality. she was the shit (will keep you posted when my interview is published). and she even gave me a reading. woah. double woah. she basically said i'm a strong, independent woman who was the coolest fucker in the world. well, shit. tell me something i don't know bitch!

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